


Coffee can't be that bad of an idea, right? Right???

by ActuallyRandomPerson



Category: Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Coffee, Fluff, Gen, I think?, Kinda, No Angst, Panic Attack, Peter Parker makes dumb decisions sometimes, Slice of Life, alternate universe: no avengers infinity war/endgame, anxiety from caffeine, anxiety mention, but it's not given much weight, idk lol this is a difficult thing to tag i'm just projecting onto peter, more detail in an
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:14:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,939
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27585940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActuallyRandomPerson/pseuds/ActuallyRandomPerson
Summary: "You’d think after the first disastrous experience, Peter would have learned, but his brain was surprisingly stubborn about some topics when he wanted it to be.The issue was obviously not the coffee itself. It was theamount.Thestrength.Maybe he just couldn’t drink coffee the way he used to anymore! That was fine! It was probably an unhealthy level of caffeine foranyone,weird powers-related shit might not even be a part of why he reacted so badly!! Instead, he should try just. Normal coffee. Not brewed especially strong and with milk and sugar and everything to help temper it all out. Something comparatively light on caffeine."In other words, Peter keeps making bad decisions around coffee, in that he still tries to drink it when he really shouldn't be.
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Michelle Jones & Peter Parker, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	Coffee can't be that bad of an idea, right? Right???

**Author's Note:**

> So, for 2 years now I’ve been dealing with chronic fatigue syndrome. It’s not the best-understood chronic illness in the world, and the current theory for me is my body went in full-overprotective mode after I got sick in a period of Stress™, and as such my sympathetic nervous system is much more trigger happy and overactive than it should be. I can’t drink caffeine anymore as it just makes me anxious as all hell, even if I only have a little bit. (I’m also not supposed to drink it even without that, bc it uses energy reserves I don’t actually have and doesn't actually help, but my local train station had a coffee stand that makes a very good dirty chai and I really miss it, and also drank it way more times than I should have to get the message through my thick skull. I also consumed hella caffeine at a con at one point and boy howdy was that an interesting experience, especially since it was before I realised how badly it was affecting me.) So this is me projecting my experiences onto Peter.
> 
> TW: There is a non-graphic depiction of a panic attack that isn’t given that much weight in this if that’s a concern for you! I’m not trying to make light of how much they fucking suck, but this is pulled from my own experiences and my own feelings towards those experiences at the time that I was still consuming caffeine and I was. Very blasé towards it all

Peter missed caffeine. He really did. The worst part was now he actually _needed_ it, more than ever, and he’d been told by Mr Stark and a slew of other responsible and in-the-know scientists that under no circumstances was he allowed to drink the stuff anymore. Not until they had a better idea of “how you’ll metabolise it, Peter, your nervous systems are wired differently than they used to be and it could affect you either more or less expected and we just don’t have enough _data_ ”.

Said scientists and Mr Stark were _also_ completely against the idea of him drinking some to _collect_ said data, even though it was obviously the best way to go about things.

“I don’t know why you’re so concerned about this Mr Stark! If you just let me have a little bit, while under supervision at the tower, you’ll see that it’s completely fine and I can go back to my coffee drinking ways, no issue.”

“What if someone attacks the tower? It’s not like that’s completely out of the realm of possibility, kid, and I don’t want you too jittery to deal with a potential threat. You can survive without caffeine; you have been for the past little while no issue. Just suck it up on the bad days.”

‘Like you can talk’, Peter had muttered angrily while glaring at the pot Mr Stark kept in the lab for whenever he needed the energy boost, but he’d grudgingly accepted that Mr Stark’s word was final. For now.

***

It was a week or so after that talk that Peter gave in to his urges. He was just so _tired_ , and surely his metabolism and everything being weird meant it would have _less_ of an effect on him, not more. It was only logical, right? He’d like… process it more quickly. Or something.

So he wandered to a small coffee stand that he was familiar with, one that he used to frequent before the whole bite situation and his powers developing, and bought a coffee just the way he used to like it, on days when he’d been less able to sleep and needed a serious pick me up. He felt a little jittery when he first drank it, but that was normal! It was strong coffee, and it had been a while since he had _any_ drink with substantial caffeine content.

It was only later, when Peter was sitting in the toilets at school having a panic attack because everything was so _**‘**_ ** _loud_** , _why was school so loud was it normally this loud were his senses going haywire how long had he been here was Ned looking for him was Ned worried_ ** _oh fuck_** _what if he missed class because his brain wouldn’t shut the fuck up then he’d fail_ ** _he couldn’t fail_** _he’d missed enough class from spider-manning already holy_ **_shit_** ** _,’_** that he realised Mr Stark might have been right.

***

You’d think after that disastrous experience, Peter would have learned, but his brain was surprisingly stubborn about some topics when he wanted it to be.

The issue was obviously not the coffee itself. It was the _amount_. The _strength._ Maybe he just couldn’t drink coffee the way he used to anymore! That was fine! It was probably an unhealthy level of caffeine for _anyone,_ weird powers-related shit might not even be a part of why he reacted so badly!! Instead, he should try just. Normal coffee. Not brewed especially strong and with milk and sugar and everything to help temper it all out. Something comparatively light on caffeine.

He posited this theory to Mr Stark one day while they were working in the lab, and he was met with the most deadpan stare he’d seen in his life.

“Kid. _Kid._ Peter. You had a panic attack in the school bathrooms last week from drinking coffee. Ned had to tell me why you were so shifty and skittish when you got into the lab because you didn’t want to admit it. And now you’re telling me you want to try _again?!_ ”

“It’s just that the coffee I drank was really strong, Mr Stark! I think that maybe I would’ve had that reaction to it even _without_ my powers, because it’s been so long since I drunk _any_ coffee!”

“Oh my _god,_ Peter. I do not condone this, but I can’t exactly _stop_ you. Like, we live in New York. There are _so many_ places you can buy caffeine without me knowing. But just know, it’s your funeral.”

Peter smiled and took that as permission, even though it was most definitely _not_ . This was just… an experiment. A _coffee_ experiment. To see how much caffeine he could handle. Mr Stark appreciated science; he couldn’t _really_ get mad at Peter for testing a hypothesis until he got a satisfactory result. Right?

***

The second test also failed spectacularly, especially since Peter was extra jittery during decathlon practice and MJ was most decidedly _not_ impressed, especially when he told him why.

He’d had hopes for the third, which just involved drinking a mocha, as that has like. Barely any coffee in it, right? It was a hot chocolate with a shot of espresso in it, that was like. Tiny. Surely he’d be fine.

And he hadn’t been _panic attack_ level bad, unlike both the last attempts, but his Spidey sense was all out of whack. Way too reactive, and he was still anxious all day. With that failure, Peter had to give in to the inevitable. Mr Stark was right. Him and caffeine no longer got along, no matter how much he wished they did.

***

A few months passed after the second and third incidents. He didn’t bother drinking decaf, didn’t like the taste enough on its own for it to be worth it, and something in him thought it was slightly odd to drink a decaf mocha when a hot chocolate was just as tasty. Everything was fine for a while, he was surviving on the tea Aunt May and Mr Stark both kept stocked and pushed him towards when he needed a hot drink as a pick me up, then he had a particularly bad week with his… extracurriculars.

He didn’t even properly recall making the decision to _buy_ the coffee. He’d been walking to school, his sleep-deprived brain completely out of it, when he smelt the small coffee stand only a little out of his way.

It couldn’t hurt _that_ much, right? Like sure, he’d been anxious as hell both the last times he drank the stuff, but like. How bad was a little anxiety compared to complete sleep deprivation? It was worth it, and he’d only get a little one. Something small. Just a tiny boost to wake him up more. What’s the worst that could happen?

He ended up back in the bathroom that lunch, this time with Ned and MJ both fully aware of what a fucking idiot he could be, and his brain supplied that the answer to that question was, well, him ending up exactly were he was right now.

The worst part wasn’t even the panic attack. The worst part was that the caffeine hadn’t even fucking _helped_.

***

The next time he had a morning like that, he did the smart thing and called MJ to get her to talk him out of buying a coffee.

“Just. Remind me of how horrible my last few experiences were, because my brain seems determined to forget it.”

“Peter, the last 4 times you drank caffeine you got so anxious and your ‘Peter tingles’ got so out of control that you couldn’t engage in _any_ of your extracurricular activities. You do not wanna drink caffeine again, trust me.”

“The thing is, MJ, I still really _do_ wanna drink caffeine, because I want to feel awake and my brain cannot process the fact that this is not a smart way to do so primarily because it doesn’t fucking work”

MJ was silent for a moment.

“Have you considered that you might have a tiny bit of a caffeine addiction?” She asked.

“MJ, I haven’t drunk coffee in a month, and I don’t have headaches or like. Any of the usual symptoms of caffeine withdrawal.”

“No, not a physiological addiction, it’s been too long for that, and you haven’t drunk nearly enough coffee this year between Stark’s constant vigilance both prior to and after your ‘experiments’ with how your body processes it. I’m talking more of a psychological addiction; in that you’re craving it and the energy it used to bring you despite your knowledge of how it affects you.”

“I mean… maybe? I don’t exactly know how to classify these things, MJ, and I don’t even know if you can _be_ psychologically addicted to caffeine. Isn’t addiction all physiological anyway? Because dopamine and whatever the fuck else.”

“I mean, technically yeah, but you get what I mean. I don’t really know either, I’m really just trying to find an explanation for your dumbassery especially since you can _tell_ that caffeine’s a bad idea despite how much you seem to want to drink it right now.”

“I just don’t know what to _do_ , MJ! I know I shouldn’t drink it in my logical brain, but I’m not awake enough for my logical brain to be in control currently.”

“Go to the coffee stand. Buy a hot chocolate. Fill the cravings with sugar rather than caffeine, and call me/Ned anytime you think you’re gonna be a dumbass. If you don’t bring the cup to school as evidence that you didn’t get a caffeinated drink, I’m telling Tony and he’ll ban you from the suit for a week.”

“Tony doesn’t like taking my suit off me anymore, because of. Last time.”

“Well, then he’ll ban you from lab time instead, or enact some other punishment. He’s a very smart man; I’m sure he could think of something.”

Peter very carefully considered his options, then nodded.

“Ok. Thanks, MJ.” 

“No problem.”

He couldn’t be sure, as he couldn’t see her face, but he felt she might be smiling warmly at him through the phone.

***

Despite what you might assume, knowing Peter’s track record, this system worked surprisingly well. He called MJ and Ned whenever he was tired enough that his own internal logic couldn’t fight the urge to buy a coffee, they reminded him of why it was dumb and the multitude of consequences that would come after his hide if he did so, and he got a loyalty card at the coffee stand from the amount of non-caffeinated drinks he’d bought from there.

When he hit two months without having to call MJ or Ned, they threw him a joking celebration at the tower, despite his protests.

“Come on, guys, it’s not that big of a deal.”

MJ and Ned both grinned.

“Come on, Peter, can’t we be glad that our best friend isn’t being a complete dumbass and craving something that gives him panic attacks anymore?”

“Yeah, don’t take away our super flimsy excuse to have a sleepover and movie night, dude, you’ll ruin the mood.”

Peter sighed and rolled his eyes, before flopping down on the couch.

“Alright, but I get to choose the first movie given it’s a celebration for _me._ ”

Secretly though, he was pleased. It was a _completely_ stupid thing to be proud of, it really was, but he couldn’t help the feelings and MJ and Ned’s insistence that he had done something good by taking care of himself was. Nice. So fuck it, if they were proud then he could be proud. It showed character growth, or whatever.

**Author's Note:**

> Would y’all believe I was even more of a dumbass than Peter in this fic? Aside from the con experience (free dare iced coffee y’all, I drank so much of it) and 1 time at school (which was an iced mocha) I just. Kept drinking dirty chais even tho the experience was the exact same every time. I also have texts from when I bought a small rather than a medium saying “it’s smaller so Less caffeine and therefore Less anxiety right?” followed by me asking a friend with an anxiety disorder how to deal with constant low levels of it literally an hour and a bit later because I needed to school and Couldn't.  
> Also, idk how I have so many incomplete marvel fics and t h i s is the first one I finish. I wrote it over the course of an hour and a bit instead of studying for the final exam I have for high school. It’s fine, I still have a week, don’t judge me. Hopefully this is a sign and y’all will get both a tropey as fuck field trip fic and a trans!peter fic from me soon. We shall see, we shall see….  
> Let me know what you think! It’s only roughly edited bc my usual second pair of eyes isn’t into marvel, so y’all just get word’s spell checker + Grammarly + me- let me know if that not very rigorous process missed anything. Or any other comments you have. I crave validation even if it’s on fics I wrote in under 2 hours to project the fact that I miss dirty chais onto the friendly neighbourhood spider-man. 💜


End file.
